Count Your Losses
by KuroiAzarashi
Summary: It keeps happening over and over again. Sometimes I'm in Sakura's house other times I'm just in the middle of the park... *Complete*


This is not a Tori/Julian fic

Disclaimer: I don't own Cardcaptors

Julian's POV

Once again I was somewhere that I wasn't suppose to be, outside the school, and Sakura was there trying to tell me what happened. I had just gotten the news that my grandparents had been involved in a horrible accident and then I woke up here. It keeps happening over and over again. Sometimes I'm in Sakura's house other times I'm just in the middle of the park.

"Well, Julian-" I cut her off.

"That's okay Sakura." I automatically say, making sure that I smile, even though I really don't want to. I haven't told Sakura or Tori about what happened.

_"There's a large chance they won't make it..."_

"I'd better be going, see you." I slowly turn and walk away, thinking back to the phone conversation that I had an hour ago. Tears come to my eyes and I angrily wipe them away.

_"...They won't make it..."_

I walk into my empty house and collapse to my knees, exhausted. I'm always so tired, all the time, every day and I just don't think I can handle it any more, not with this new burden that has been put on my shoulders.

_"If they do pull through..."_

I close my eyes and cry, quietly, to myself. 

"What's going on with me?" I whisper, too tired to think. "Am I losing it? Have I been losing it?" I pull myself shakily onto my feet and take off my glasses, wiping them on my shirt. I walk over and sit next to the phone, hoping that the doctor will call, and hoping that he won't. 

_"They'll need extensive treatments to even walk again..."_

Laying my head on the counter I close my eyes halfway and contemplate my life. Before I know it, I'm asleep.

__

"...Treatments to even walk again..."

*Ring* The phone jerks me back to consciousness. I unsteadily pick it up and hold it to my ear. It's the doctor. He tells me what has happened and I hang up, not even bothering to answer. I put my face in my hands and sob. 

__

"I'm sorry Julian; they're gone. We did everything we could...Julian?"

Two days have gone by now and I haven't done anything, answered the door, ate, nothing. The funeral is being held tomorrow and I don't think I can pull myself together enough to go.

_"...They're gone..."_

A knock on the door pulls me out of my reveries. It's Sakura and Tori, telling me to hurry and come out so we won't be late. I bury my face in my arms just hoping they will leave. They don't. Instead, they come in and run over to me, asking me if I'm alright. 

"I, I, just don't f, feel well." I say brokenly into my shirt. My eyes fill with tears and I start to cry again, hating my very existence and wishing that it would end. I hear Tori begin to talk.

"Go to school Sakura. I'll be along in a while." I hear Sakura starting to argue and the door shutting quietly. I feel Tori's hands on my shoulder. "What happened Julian? Tell me." I shake my head, not wanting to speak. Tears continue to soak my shirt. He rubs my back tentatively, not used to this sort of thing, and says that it's okay. Finally I stop.

"It's not okay." I mumble. "They're gone." I can guess Tori's puzzled expression.

"Who's gone?" 

"There was an accident, grandfather, grandmother they're both gone." I look up at my best friend with watery eyes and suddenly feel very tired. Unable to stop myself I fall off the chair I am sitting in and fall asleep on the floor.

Tori's POV

"Julian!" I shout, wondering what could be happening to him. Sakura and I run over and gasp. In all my years of knowing him he had never cried once. We ask him if he is alright and he cries harder, saying that he just doesn't feel well. I know that's not the reason and tell Sakura to go to school.

"But Tori-" I cut her off and she leaves. I carefully put my hands on Julian's shoulders.

"What's wrong Julian? Tell me." I hear myself say. He shakes his head no and sobs brokenly. As he starts to hyperventilate I rub his back, nervous and a bit frightened, wondering what could be so wrong. "It's okay." I say and Julian stops suddenly.

"It's not okay." He whispers into his shirt. "They're gone." I'm confused.

"Who's gone?"

"There was an accident." Julian tells me. "Grandfather, grandmother, they're both gone." He looks up at me and falls off the chair. As I pick him up I can feel the heat radiating from his frail body. His face is flushed and he mumbles fretfully. I carry Julian to his room and put him on the bed where he immediately curls in on himself. Draping the sheets over him carefully I take off his glasses and leave them on the table next to a note. Placing a glass of water within his reach I head to school, intending to come back with Sakura later.

Yue's POV

I am weak. My borrowed form is sick and has not eaten for two days, there is nothing to draw power from. I pray that my Mistress will come back soon. If she doesn't I can only sleep and wait for the inevitable. I listen to Julian's subconscious whisper and talk to itself. Julian is frightened, scared because he doesn't know what is happening to him.

"He can't know." I say to myself. "If Mistress tells him..." I let it hang in the air and it echoes throughout 'my' mind, a bitter reminder of what I am. Nothing more then one of Clow's creations.

Julian's POV

I wake up to the sound of someone singing in the kitchen, the sound of plates clattering makes me think that grandmother is doing the dishes. I mentally slap myself.

"It's not her." I feel a pang of fear. "Who is it then?" I grab my glasses and slip out of bed, not caring how I got there, ignoring the fact that I feel sick and dizzy. Peering around the door frame I see Sakura working in my kitchen. She is singing to herself and something is simmering on the stove. Abruptly she turns around and smiles.

"Oh, Julian! I'm glad you're awake. Tori has classes tonight so he sent me over here." She frowns. "I heard what happened and I'm really sorry." She runs over to me and throws her arms around my waist. I stand there dumbfounded and openmouthed. Then, for the first time in days I smile.

"Thank you Sakura."


End file.
